To The One Who...

To The One Who Can't Find A Good Mentor

Written by successwstephuk | Mar 15, 2021 4:00:00 AM
 

In life, you can learn from your mistakes or you can learn from the mistakes of your mentors.

Don't get me wrong, learning from your mistakes is a great thing. But think about the last time you put your heart and soul in your internship or post-graduate role applications and received rejection after rejection. Now imagine how the situation might have improved if you had someone to walk you through the steps they took when they were in your shoes?
 
That's where having a good mentor comes in.
 
Nowadays social media makes it sound like it's easy to find a mentor, and it can be. But how easy is it to find a good mentor? And perhaps more importantly, what are the characteristics of a good mentor you should be looking out for as a mentee?
 
 
Tip 1: A good mentor is like the missing jigsaw puzzle piece in your life; they need to be the right person for you
 
 
Everyone's journey is different, so I can't prescribe a set of characteristics that you must have before you ask someone to be your mentor. But it does help to have characteristics to consider. Some of the common things you might want to think about are:
 
 
 
  1. Professional journey and experience: Your mentor should have experience in whatever your end goal is. So if your goal at the moment is getting into commercial law, reach out to trainees who have recently achieved that goal. If your goal is running a successful start-up, reach out to someone who already has. This means they will have a basic understanding of what you are trying to do and will therefore be in a better position to support.

  2. Availability and attentiveness: It goes without saying that good mentoring should be an ongoing relationship. So your mentor needs to be willing to make time for you, but you as the mentee also need to be willing to put in the time to make the relationship work. If your unsure about a potential mentor's availability, just ask.

  3. Professional skills and personal qualities: I think of soft skills like leadership, teamwork, resilience and communication (to name but a few) as the seasoning you need to be successful in achieving your goal. You wouldn't cook chicken without seasoning, so why are you looking for a mentor who isn't proficient in the skills you need to thrive? Looking at your mentor's profile, for example on LinkedIn, will give you a great overview of their key soft skills and how they share them.

 
 
 
 

Tip 2: Understand the different mentoring routes available

 
There are generally 3 routes into getting a good mentor, and you may decide only 1 is right for you or you may want a combination of all 3.
 
Route 1 : Join a structured structured mentoring programme e.g. Grow Mentoring or Strive,
 
Route 2: Find informal passive mentors - following personalities online ahead of you in terms of your goal e.g. following and implementing Warren Buffet's investment strategy without actually speaking to Warren Buffet
 
Route 3: Find informal active mentors - connecting with someone ahead of you in terms of your goal e.g. reaching out to someone 2 years ahead of you in the career you are interested in on LinkedIn.

Generally, route 2 is better suited to someone with a lot of discipline, because whoever is your mentor in that scenario won't actively be checking that you are putting in the work. But that doesn't mean you don't need to be disciplined with routes 1 and 3.

 

Tip 3: Take the right first step

 

Before the first conversation:

 

Goal: Lay the groundwork for a productive meeting.

What to do:
 
  • Put together your CV and two or three brief paragraphs describing your work experience and personal history.

  • Give your mentor an idea of what you’d like to focus on. It may be nice to email over an informal agenda.

  • Research your mentor to learn about relevant news, background, or published work.

  • Confirm the meeting a day or two in advance.

 

During the first conversation:

 

Goal: Get to know each other.

 What to do:
 
  • Be on time.

  • Set up the conversation so that it will be as relevant and valuable as possible for you.

  • Talk about your academic background and current situation, and clearly state your desired focus for the outcome of the conversation.

  • Provide context to help your mentor understand you. Share your professional goals and, as relevant, your life situation.

  • Ask direct questions to learn more about your mentor’s experiences. For example, you can say, “I’d love to learn about your career path” or “What do you realize in hindsight about how you achieved your professional success?”

  • Establish a mutually agreed-on plan for future mentoring sessions if your mentor offers any.

After the first conversation:

 

Goal: Lay the groundwork for the future so you’ll both know what to expect.

What to do:

  • Follow up within 24 hours of the session with a brief thank-you note that spells out the next steps you agreed on. Express appreciation for specific insights or examples that helped you. This information will let your mentor know what you value and how he or she is making a difference for you.

  • Respect your mentor’s boundaries. Outside of your regular sessions, your mentor probably has limited time to engage with you. Don't be that annoying mentee.

  • If you’ve committed to an action as a result of the mentoring session, make sure you follow through. At the next meeting, start with a brief update on your progress.

Hopefully this helps, but if not, check out my posts on Instagram or YouTube :)