To The One Who Can't Find A Good Mentor

In life, you can learn from your mistakes or you can learn from the mistakes of your mentors.

1. Professional journey and experience: Your mentor should have experience in whatever your end goal is. So if your goal at the moment is getting into commercial law, reach out to trainees who have recently achieved that goal. If your goal is running a successful start-up, reach out to someone who already has. This means they will have a basic understanding of what you are trying to do and will therefore be in a better position to support.

2. Availability and attentiveness: It goes without saying that good mentoring should be an ongoing relationship. So your mentor needs to be willing to make time for you, but you as the mentee also need to be willing to put in the time to make the relationship work. If your unsure about a potential mentor's availability, just ask.

3. Professional skills and personal qualities: I think of soft skills like leadership, teamwork, resilience and communication (to name but a few) as the seasoning you need to be successful in achieving your goal. You wouldn't cook chicken without seasoning, so why are you looking for a mentor who isn't proficient in the skills you need to thrive? Looking at your mentor's profile, for example on LinkedIn, will give you a great overview of their key soft skills and how they share them.

Tip 2: Understand the different mentoring routes available

Generally, route 2 is better suited to someone with a lot of discipline, because whoever is your mentor in that scenario won't actively be checking that you are putting in the work. But that doesn't mean you don't need to be disciplined with routes 1 and 3.

Tip 3: Take the right first step

Before the first conversation:

Goal: Lay the groundwork for a productive meeting.

• Put together your CV and two or three brief paragraphs describing your work experience and personal history.

• Give your mentor an idea of what you’d like to focus on. It may be nice to email over an informal agenda.

• Research your mentor to learn about relevant news, background, or published work.

• Confirm the meeting a day or two in advance.

During the first conversation:

Goal: Get to know each other.

• Be on time.

• Set up the conversation so that it will be as relevant and valuable as possible for you.

• Talk about your academic background and current situation, and clearly state your desired focus for the outcome of the conversation.

• Provide context to help your mentor understand you. Share your professional goals and, as relevant, your life situation.

• Ask direct questions to learn more about your mentor’s experiences. For example, you can say, “I’d love to learn about your career path” or “What do you realize in hindsight about how you achieved your professional success?”

• Establish a mutually agreed-on plan for future mentoring sessions if your mentor offers any.

After the first conversation:

Goal: Lay the groundwork for the future so you’ll both know what to expect.

What to do:

• Follow up within 24 hours of the session with a brief thank-you note that spells out the next steps you agreed on. Express appreciation for specific insights or examples that helped you. This information will let your mentor know what you value and how he or she is making a difference for you.

• Respect your mentor’s boundaries. Outside of your regular sessions, your mentor probably has limited time to engage with you. Don't be that annoying mentee.

• If you’ve committed to an action as a result of the mentoring session, make sure you follow through. At the next meeting, start with a brief update on your progress.

Hopefully this helps, but if not, check out my posts on Instagram or YouTube :)